Wednesday, December 31, 2014

A little kindness goes a long way.

Over dinner last night, my family was discussing ways to be better conversationalists. None in that group are wallflowers or conversation hogs, but there were areas of improvement for all of us.


Sometimes one of us goes too long on details when the conversational story should be maybe ten seconds.


Another has a penchant for topping their conversational partner's story, any story, instead of appreciating it for what it is: the other person's story.


I tend to be blunt, gruff and impatient. My entire family gustily agreed with that self-criticism. In my usual fashion I explained I was often that way because it seems everyone who talks to me, family included, wants something.


And in the best advice I have received all year, my daughter said: "Maybe if you were kinder many people would want to give to you."


Yes. Best advice all year. Thanks Carrie. I will be kinder. I can and I will.


Smile first and the good stuff will follow. I know. I know.

Friday, December 26, 2014

Thinking AND feeling.

Maya Angelou said a lot of quotable things. One of my favorites is “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” At first this seems all squishy and poetic, but in practice it seems true. You won't recall exactly what your doctor gave you or what the treatment was, but you will recall feeling secure or relieved. If your plumber fixes your leaks quickly and at a fair price, you feel satisfied. You won't remember what he said or exactly what he did.

The Angelou doctrine applies to all interpersonal relationships and even to business relationships, which are, at their core, interpersonal.

Help your customers and your clients feel good about working with you by giving a little more than they bought. Help your employees to feel good about working for you, by giving them your support, respect and approval, and they will convey that to your customers.  When a customer feels valued and respected, then they will keep that sensation far longer than they will a memory of the hourly rate you charged for your services.

And I can't stress this enough, if a relationship or deal "feels" wrong to you, then it probably needs work. Our sub-conscious minds see and know more than we can articulate. That subconscious sometimes communicates with us through our emotions and our "guts". Let that feeling inform your thinking. It's there for a reason.